I know this is a very cliche question, but I’m not sure how else to ask it. Do you think you would rather love someone and lose them, or not have met them at all?
Loved and lost 100%. Hands down. No questions asked. End of story.
Okay, not end of story. Let me elaborate.
Sure, we have all spent the morning of one of our birthdays crying on the bedroom floor in fetal position over someone we were allowing to slowly rip our heart out (Or was that just me?). Wiping away our tears, we declare, “I wish I never met them!”
In the middle of this overly dramatic moment, it is easy to want to wish people out of existence but you can’t forget the beginning. The flirtations, excitement, anticipation, stolen first kisses, and the mystery of what might happen next. And, what about the lessons this person taught us so we are walking away with more knowledge than when we walked in?
Love isn’t what hurts. It is the expectations we place on our Lover that messes everything up. This can include anything from what we think they should do for us, all the way to the expectation they will stay with us forever.
Just because a relationship comes to an end doesn’t mean it was a failure. We focus so hard on the ashes and not on how beautiful and warm the flame was.
When you first meet someone you feel wildly connected to, you don’t know whether or not you will lose them. If you start thinking about the end before anything gets started, you will push potentially amazing relationships and people away out of fear of imaginary loss.
All of my past Lovers added to my life in a positive way. I learned so much about myself and life while we held hands. To not know one of them would dramatically change the path I’ve taken and who I am. Regardless of how painful our time together/parting was, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Love can always collapse around us but... what if it doesn’t?
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My Life in Yellow is not a licensed psychologist or health care professional and the advice within this column does not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Before making any decision or taking any action, you should consult a health/medical professional. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking advice or treatment because of something you have read here.